My Reason for this post.
As you may already realize from the title of my blog-“The You Process” my desire is to give you something that can help in your quest for meaning to life. Not everyone is looking for the same thing as me. However, I don’t think I’m alone in asking questions about something or other pertaining to life. If you are somewhat like me and have questions, my posts may help.
In evaluating a change process, I am well qualified.
Having had, what one would consider, a very eclectic life. I trans versed the business world from owning my own business, to CEO of a company on the national scene and everything in between. Have been a minister in organized religion, was a caregiver for ten years, operated a B&B, did the cooking, cleaning and whatever was necessary to give the business a five star rating.
I have been a millionaire and bankrupt, the father of seven children, married to my late wife for forty-seven years, I held her in my arms the afternoon she passed away and remarried a couple of years later to my present wife Sandra.
Perhaps I can speak on change and the process involved with confidence and authority, based on my experience. I again want to point out, I have no answers for you. My desire is to impart some of my reasoning process.
I could find no one that had an answer for me. It was necessary for me to find it myself. There was much help in my journey, many times in unexpected areas, I will expand on what I called my companions along the way in my posts. Some encouraged me, others challenged me and some made me angry. All had a purpose towards furthering my life journey. It depended on how I accepted everything.
I have to admit criticism was the most difficult to accept, yet if taken in the right vein did prove the most valuable.
Your experiences, past, present and future can be your catalyst to getting some much-needed answers. You do have the answer to your quest whatever it might be.
You may be reasonably satisfied with life, yet there still remains a few unanswered questions.
For me it became necessary to evaluate all communication. It may have seemed as if I were analyzing everything and trying to pick it apart. That was not my method, it had more to do with my experiences.
I did not always do that, many times I would pass over events that were taking place as been normal or rationalize it and move on. Negative events were my downers, in one way or another I fought those areas, yet it has turned out to be the most positive avenue to finding my answers to life and its blessings.
It took a long time before I began evaluating my experiences, especially the negative experiences. I was actually ashamed of my negative experiences, if I’m going to be honest with myself.
After evaluating experiences, I moved on to various books I read. I usually read for enjoyment and not so much for knowledge. I found that books could challenge me. Sometimes the book posed a question that caught my attention.
I began asking my inner self what the answer was? I never waited for the answer, but all of a sudden, it may have been a week or two and I would get an answer. There was never any audible communication.
This may seem strange to you because for the most part it is not the norm. The norm is to rely on verbal or written communication.
There was a communing with my inner self and my inner self communed with me. To commune with my inner self was the same as communing with the universe, that was my meditation
Communing with myself had a two fold effect. When all of a sudden, I’m given an answer to a question that I had communed with my inner-self, it gave me confidence in myself. I got the answer from myself. Secondly, because the answer was experienced, I didn’t have to defend or explain it, I KNEW.
That process built my confidence but not my ego, matter of fact it was almost the reverse.
This blog may seem somewhat off the wall. The title “the you process” is not a statement I contrived, it is something that is very real to me. My post is about how I evaluated my experiences and the result for me.
I realize that anecdotal evidence does not carry a lot of weight in our society, in science it is not accepted for the most part. There is a very real and certainly valid reason for that. I will cover that in more detail throughout some of my future posts.
I mentioned in my previous post “Getting to know yourself better,” to get the value of what I am writing and will be writing it is necessary to do some lateral thinking which is primarily viewing problems from a new and unusual light. As you may have already determined, my answers come from a new and unusual light.
The question I put to myself, for much of my life was, who am I? What had the most impact, was the question I began asking myself later in life, as a result of an experience in my life, it was who are “you?”
The following example may shed some light on the validity of that statement. Every time I addressed anyone outside of myself, I always addressed them as you. How are YOU? Did YOU go on vacation? What are YOU doing today? Yet I always thought of myself as “I.”
“You” recognized community, “I” separated me from that community.
What if my “I” became “YOU”? The first thought that may come to your mind, as in mine. The other people I come in contact with, all see themselves as “I”, so nothing would change. For them nothing would change, but it would make me a part of that community.
You can now embrace that community, even though they cannot embrace yours. You are responsible for yourself, not others. The first thought that comes to mind, but I want to help people. When you embrace “YOU”, you become self-sufficient.
It is only possible to help another person if our glass is full. With a glass that is half full we are unable to help anyone, to try to help someone when our glass is half full, is to deceive ourselves. We are trying to fill our own glass at the other persons expense.
YOU cover other people’s back and our own.
Now The Process.
The thing that took me a long time to realize, yet it was so basic when I thought of it, a process takes time.
We live in an age where the norm is instant gratification. Things are moving so fast. In communications, we can know what is taking place anywhere in the world almost instantly. In travel, we are able to travel to the other side of the world almost the same day. Think about the change from only fifty years ago.
However, when I think of myself, it took me years to get where I am. Each year is three hundred and sixty-five or six days, depending on if its a leap year. I could never change that. Growing up has been an evolutionary process and it has taken time.
But it has taken more than time, it has taken hardship, pain, disappointment, discouragement and many times stressed me out. There has also been happy and prosperous times. Each has had a purpose and achieved what it was intended for.
The “YOU” process is a transition from “I” to “You” it will take time and will have its ups and downs, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a train coming towards you. The result is a complete and fulfilled life.
Change is the most difficult of all, human nature naturally resists change. Change is usually doing the same thing a different way and expecting different results, that doesn’t happen.
The negative things that happened in my life brought about the greatest change. At first, I tried to avoid the negatives or ignore them, until I was hit with a negative that I couldn’t avoid. It was similar to hitting a brick wall, but it put me on a new and enlightened path. This will unfold in future posts.
To evaluate a change process and to benefit from it, it will be necessary to have an open mind and be willing to walk on a different path. A lateral thinking process will certainly help. It is amazing how much help we can get in our journey of enlightenment from people and things around us. It is necessary to evaluate and reason things through.
A lateral thinker is not going to take the road most traveled. The lateral thinker will take the road less traveled, without rejecting the road most traveled.
You will respect every person’s choice, you may not agree with everyone, but for me the liberating thought was to realize my responsibility is only for the choices I make.