My Reason for this post.

As you may already realize from the title of my blog-“The You Process” my desire is to give you something that can help in your quest for meaning to life. Not everyone is looking for the same thing as me. However, I don’t think I’m alone in asking questions about something or other pertaining to life. If you are somewhat like me and have questions, my posts may help.

In evaluating a change process, I am well qualified.

Having had, what one would consider, a very eclectic life. I trans versed the business world from owning my own business, to CEO of a company on the national scene and everything in between. Have been a minister in organized religion, was a caregiver for ten years, operated a B&B, did the cooking, cleaning and whatever was necessary to give the business a five star rating.

I have been a millionaire and bankrupt, the father of seven children, married to my late wife for forty-seven years, I held her in my arms the afternoon she passed away and remarried a couple of years later to my present wife Sandra.

Perhaps I can speak on change and the process involved with confidence and authority, based on my experience. I again want to point out, I have no answers for you. My desire is to impart some of my reasoning process.

I could find no one that had an answer for me. It was necessary for me to find it myself. There was much help in my journey, many times in unexpected areas, I will expand on what I called my companions along the way in my posts. Some encouraged me, others challenged me and some made me angry. All had a purpose towards furthering my life journey. It depended on how I accepted everything.

I have to admit criticism was the most difficult to accept, yet if taken in the right vein did prove the most valuable.

Your experiences, past, present and future can be your catalyst to getting some much-needed answers. You do have the answer to your quest whatever it might be.

You may be reasonably satisfied with life, yet there still remains a few unanswered questions.

Why Evaluate?Searching

For me it became necessary to evaluate all communication. It may have seemed as if I were analyzing everything and trying to pick it apart. That was not my method, it had more to do with my experiences.

I did not always do that, many times I would pass over events that were taking place as been normal or rationalize it and move on. Negative events were my downers, in one way or another I fought those areas, yet it has turned out to be the most positive avenue to finding my answers to life and its blessings.

It took a long time before I began evaluating my experiences, especially the negative experiences. I was actually ashamed of my negative experiences, if I’m going to be honest with myself.

After evaluating experiences, I moved on to various books I read. I usually read for enjoyment and not so much for knowledge. I found that books could challenge me. Sometimes the book posed a question that caught my attention.

I began asking my inner self what the answer was? I never waited for the answer, but all of a sudden, it may have been a week or two and I would get an answer. There was never any audible communication.

This may seem strange to you because for the most part it is not the norm. The norm is to rely on verbal or written communication.

There was a communing with my inner self and my inner self communed with me. To commune with my inner self was the same as communing with the universe, that was my meditation

Communing with myself had a two fold effect. When all of a sudden, I’m given an answer to a question that I had communed with my inner-self, it gave me confidence in myself. I got the answer from myself. Secondly, because the answer was experienced, I didn’t have to defend or explain it, I KNEW.

That process built my confidence but not my ego, matter of fact it was almost the reverse.

The You.

This blog may seem somewhat off the wall. The title “the you process” is not a statement I contrived, it is something that is very real to me. My post is about how I evaluated my experiences and the result for me.

I realize that anecdotal evidence does not carry a lot of weight in our society, in science it is not accepted for the most part. There is a very real and certainly valid reason for that. I will cover that in more detail throughout some of my future posts.

I mentioned in my previous post “Getting to know yourself better,” to get the value of what I am writing and will be writing it is necessary to do some lateral thinking which is primarily viewing problems from a new and unusual light. As you may have already determined, my answers come from a new and unusual light.

The question I put to myself, for much of my life was, who am I? What had the most impact, was the question I began asking myself later in life, as a result of an experience in my life, it was who are “you?”

The following example may shed some light on the validity of that statement. Every time I addressed anyone outside of myself, I always addressed them as you. How are YOU? Did YOU go on vacation? What are YOU doing today? Yet I always thought of myself as “I.”

“You” recognized community, “I” separated me from that community.

What if my “I” became “YOU”? The first thought that may come to your mind, as in mine. The other people I come in contact with, all see themselves as “I”, so nothing would change. For them nothing would change, but it would make me a part of that community.

You can now embrace that community, even though they cannot embrace yours. You are responsible for yourself, not others. The first thought that comes to mind, but I want to help people. When you embrace “YOU”, you become self-sufficient.

It is only possible to help another person if our glass is full. With a glass that is half full we are unable to help anyone, to try to help someone when our glass is half full, is to deceive ourselves. We are trying to fill our own glass at the other persons expense.

YOU cover other people’s back and our own.

Now The Process.

The thing that took me a long time to realize, yet it was so basic when I thought of it, a process takes time.

We live in an age where the norm is instant gratification. Things are moving so fast. In communications, we can know what is taking place anywhere in the world almost instantly. In travel, we are able to travel to the other side of the world almost the same day. Think about the change from only fifty years ago.

However, when I think of myself, it took me years to get where I am. Each year is three hundred and sixty-five or six days, depending on if its a leap year. I could never change that. Growing up has been an evolutionary process and it has taken time.

But it has taken more than time, it has taken hardship, pain, disappointment, discouragement and many times stressed me out. There has also been happy and prosperous times. Each has had a purpose and achieved what it was intended for.

The “YOU” process is a transition from “I” to “You” it will take time and will have its ups and downs, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a train coming towards you. The result is a complete and fulfilled life.


Change is the most difficult of all, human nature naturally resists change. Change is usually doing the same thing a different way and expecting different results, that doesn’t happen.

The negative things that happened in my life brought about the greatest change. At first, I tried to avoid the negatives or ignore them, until I was hit with a negative that I couldn’t avoid. It was similar to hitting a brick wall, but it put me on a new and enlightened path. This will unfold in future posts.

To evaluate a change process and to benefit from it, it will be necessary to have an open mind and be willing to walk on a different path. A lateral thinking process will certainly help. It is amazing how much help we can get in our journey of enlightenment from people and things around us. It is necessary to evaluate and reason things through.

A lateral thinker is not going to take the road most traveled. The lateral thinker will take the road less traveled, without rejecting the road most traveled.

You will respect every person’s choice, you may not agree with everyone, but for me the liberating thought was to realize my responsibility is only for the choices I make.















16 Replies to “Evaluating a Change Process-Why Evaluate?”

  1. Hi Russell, it’s really refreshing to find this kind of topic online. Nobody stops anymore and ask oneself where he/she is going. And “the you process” sounds so right. Every human being is a work in process no matter the age. If you’re not constantly changing, you’re probably stuck in your life, routine. Evaluating is therefore important.. 

    I didn’t understand what you meant by the “I” and “You” difference and community. Could you explain, please?



    1. Thank you Katya for your comment, it is amazing what we can learn about ourselves when we truly listen to ourselves. Everything that happens in our life, negative and positive, is meant to guide us to our purpose.

      I have in other post covered to some degree the “I” and the “You”, I will be covering in more detail later, the blog is about the “YOU” process. It is a process.

      Here is something to think about “I” deals with who you think you are from what other people say and how you feel about yourself. “YOU” is who you really are, that comes from within yourself. That is your power house.

  2. This post is packed with enough wisdom to serve one for a lifetime. I guess wisdom truly comes with age. Every single line seems to impact wisdom in me. I think most humans will not change until circumstances forces them to do so. I really want to effect a big change in my life and thank you for inspiring me

    1. Thank you Louis for your comments.

      Unfortunately, sometimes wisdom does come with age, sometimes not even with age. It can come at an early age if we are open to it.

      But, like you said “circumstances forces” that my friend is so true and was for me, but it doesn’t have to be that way if we truly understood ourselves.

      I am going to cover that in more detail in my post “Breaking out of the Chrysalis”

  3. Hi Russell Hollett,

    I have read this wonderful article and learned something new in my life. I have not observed life’s meaning so deeply and some time I am unaware of the evaluation process which is happening everywhere. After reading your article, I have understood all of those knowledge step by step and feels some evaluation process in my everyday life. I believe nature helps us to be adapt on this evaluation rules. Thanks for sharing.

  4. There is this lovely saying that Change is inevitable.

    I love the way you started your article; Your creative writing attracted me to reading every bit of the article and i must tell you i read every single word from A-ZIts indeed an eye opener.

    I have been following your blog lately  because of your wonderful post and i need to tell you this particular post is not exceptional. Thanks for sharing with us.

  5. Super arranged concepts about life transformations… I couldn’t stop reading this very personalized at the same time very inspirational article. I feel very encouraged when you remariied your second wife while you still recall the death of your old wife in your armies… That tells us to accept new lives and new forms no matter the past traumas.. Well though and laid out content!.  Thank you for the inspiration.

    1. Thank you Abdirashid for your comments.

      Yes, my post is personalized, but only to encourage each person that reads my posts, that their experiences while different from mine, are very much meant to encourage and challenge them to find their true purpose.

      After every event, good or bad, we glean from it and move on in our life, better for the experience.

  6. Having faced cancer twice now, I’ve had to do a lot of evaluating as to the point of it all.  For me, it has to do with experiences – having many of them, and seeking them out.  I’ve learned the most about myself when I’ve been thrown into a situation over which I had no control.  When you can’t even anticipate the next few minutes, you really do a lot of quick evaluating!  And it’s been good.  I’ve recovered from lymphoma and colon cancer and because of those experiences, I have a very different view of life.  But I’m also much more prepared for death.  And maybe that is the point of it all in the end.

    1. Don It is obvious you are a fighter and a thinker.

      You have faced cancer and is able to say “its been good” not everyone says that but life’s experience’s are all for a purpose, we have to glean from them.

      Also, you said “thrown into a situation over which we I had no control” that was similar with me and with so many, we run up against a brick wall, where there is no one we can turn too, so we turn to our selves and find we are much stronger than we realized. The power is in all of us, but the mind is so powerful, it blocks us from ourselves.

      Death has no power, we give it power. This is going to be covered in a later blog.

      Thank you for your interest and comments.

  7. Russ,

    This article has made me think seriously about how I look at things in my life and in the world.  In the past I was always questioning “Why?” as the years have pasted I am noticing that I am doing this less frequently, more like in realizing this would be considered normal behavior for the “You” around me.  Or perhaps with age comes acceptance of ourselves we have evaluated what happened in the past and know that it got us to where we are today letting it go and accepting ourselves for who we now are.

    Thank you for sharing these views,


    1. Susan my love, that is so true, letting go and accepting ourselves for who we are.

      I think you are right, age is certainly a factor, our ego no longer gets in the way like it did when we were young.

      What I have come to realize, it can be known as a young person as well.

      Society seems to think that we have to be knocked around and run up against a brick wall a few times to knock some sense in us, that is so unfortunate.

      My desire is to reach some of the younger generation, life can be so much more beautiful and rewarding.

  8. “fear incapacitates and makes it almost impossible to step outside the box” really really true, that is my favorite quote in your article. In fact i thought i was the only one that used to have fear of the future and some other fears, i never knew we are much in this together (smiles). I also agree with you that wealth is not only defined by the amount of money. I think its the amount of peace one has and a sense of success that one feels according to my own definition. Am sorry u had lost your late wife, i could imagine how painful it will feel at that point in time. From your article i have been able to figure out the secret of metamorphosis in my own life , though unlike you, i have only gone through the son stage and yet to go through the husband and father stage, but i tell you living in this life alone trying to become successful is full of a whole lots of responsibilities. Thanks a lot for your creative post. Will love to always read more of your posts from time to time.

    1. Thanks for your comment, my next post will give you the key to overcoming fear.

      Peace is so important and is something that “you” gives you each day. Even in the middle of a raging storm you can have peace.

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