As a person gets older change is the one thing that no one welcomes, yet no two days are alike. If it was possible when we reached a certain age or stage in our life, we would like to stay there.
It is almost as if we do not realize the secret of metamorphosis in our own life.
As a child, for the most part, fear is not on the agenda. As we grow older, fear can become a major part of our agenda, fear of failure, fear of not getting a job, fear of growing old, fear of not having enough money.
I could go on and on, but you get the gist of where I’m coming from. Fear is why a person has a mindset, fear incapacitates and makes it almost impossible to step outside the box. Doing different things is not necessarily stepping outside the box, it may be doing the same thing a different way, hence the same result.
You saw the change from a child to an adult, was it a positive change?
There are things we do not notice, but is happening regardless. This should get us to stop and think about change and the results or consequences.
My question to myself, is there a secret that could change me from a caterpillar to a butterfly?
Like the caterpillar, we too, are a part of nature.
Working long hours, to get ahead, or that was how I coined it, my goals whether I admitted or not was to be wealthy. Initially, I equated wealth with money and success.
Then there came a point where I had to ask myself some very difficult questions or perhaps one soul-searching question.
What is wealth?
The more I asked myself that question, the harder it became to justify everything I had done and was doing. I knew what it was to have plenty of money and what it was to have very little. I have to admit I was happier with less.
Eventually I realized that with or without money, success as a person has nothing to do with money, all it could provide was a false sense of security.
I have gone through three major life changing events in my life, a son, a husband and a father. I am the same person but three very distinct and different roles. I went through a metamorphosis in each instance. Was it painful, I could answer that yes and no, yet it did bring me a sense of accomplishment or fulfillment.
But there was still something missing.
I will follow the transformation of a Caterpillar into a Butterfly and in some ways equate it to my life and some struggles involved.
That was the time of my life when I was carrying out my responsibilities as a son, husband and father. I’m super busy all the time. Not so much so as a son, but certainly as a husband and a father.
There were so many things going on, I needed many legs to get me through all the responsibilities. When I think of it now, so much of that time was like the caterpillar, my effort was looking for food and eating, for myself and my family.
When I was caring for my late wife, I began to do a lot of soul-searching. I was no longer in the limelight of the business world. I no longer had to measure up to someone’s standards or try to impress to get ahead. I was no longer performing.
When I was doing those things, I never ever thought of it as performing, it was the day to day routines of work, sleep and play, you will notice play is on the end.
So often I hear people say I would like to get out of the nine to five routine and work for myself, most of the time I was working for myself, but it wasn’t nine to five, it was more like seven to nine, not five days a week but six and sometimes seven. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but it is not always greener
Even when I was sleeping or holidaying, I was thinking about business. I did not hate my work, matter of fact, for the most part, I loved it. I was what I did.
Did I realize that? No!
Now, looking back, more than I realized it, I was building a self-centered world for myself, oh! I never looked at it that way. I always thought of it, as for the family. I was great at deceiving myself.
I had not used my brain for its intended purpose, I had been building a small world that centered around my success, I never gave much thought to consequences, every choice gives an action and every action brings a consequence.
My journey of enlightenment began in earnest, two weeks before my wife passed away and has been ongoing since that time.
This journey has involved my brain, more than ever. In previous posts, I mentioned the power of the mind, it has the uncanny ability of telling us everything is OK, until some sort of set back or tragedy hits us.
We wake up, reality sets in, now it is necessary to deal with the situation, the mind is no where to be found. The brain kicks in and helps us deal with the situation.
That was where I was, when my wife was in palliative care. All the things that I thought were important were no longer important. I was dealing with each day as it happened. I was not living in the past, nor was I living for tomorrow. I was redeeming the time “today.”
The chrysalis is like a cocoon that the butterfly is encased in. That cocoon, in away, is the result of the work and effort of the caterpillar.
Is it a waste of the caterpillar’s effort, not at all, it is part of nature unfolding its purpose, through the process.
Two important things I came to realize during that period.
First, everything up to that period was not a waste, there was a purpose. The only problem, I did not get the benefit of that part of my journey, I was not living for today. I never stopped to reason through what and why of the things that were happening at the moment.
When I was younger I was living for or centered on tomorrow, when I got older I began, without realizing it, centering on yesterday.
Second, I missed the purpose of most everything that had taken place in my life up to that point. I focused on my success and tried to block out my failures. I didn’t want to talk about them.
Looking back, I was ashamed of my failures. I was what I did and God forbid if I had a failure, that would make me a failure.
Failure is only a word, it is not a condition.
Failure is a part of the equation to get us ready for another step up, as a person. We actually grow through our failures.
It is part of building the chrysalis, keeping it soft and pliable and getting us ready for the next big move in our life.
The analogy I sometimes use, again taken from nature, as we also are a part of nature. “The weather,” it has two main components’ rain and sunshine. The rain, is negative, it is the failures, the sunshine is the positives, the successes.
Rain gives the growth, sunshine solidifies the growth, the rain also helps us enjoy the sunshine to the fullest. Think what happens if we have no rain, desert. All rain and no sunshine, everything spoils. We need balance to get us to our destination.
I had very little balance, it took a severe situation to shock me or bring me into the present, so I could deal with life on a moment by moment basis. It softened up the chrysalis and helped get me ready for another step in my journey of enlightenment.
The caterpillar crawls around the ground looking for food, preparing for the chrysalis. Out of the chrysalis will emerge a beautiful butterfly. The butterfly will mount up with wings and be no longer tied to the ground. It will be able to fly through the air with the greatest of ease.
FREE from being earthbound as a caterpillar and the restrictions of the chrysalis.
I began to realize, and this was a slow process, that my chrysalis or cocoon was my mindset, while it could be a comfortable situation, it kept me contained into a very small area.
I wanted to spread my wings and fly, to be in the world but not off it.
Slowly I began to realize with much help from my Inner-Self that this is possible, for this to happen I had to let go of everything that I thought was important and open myself up to a whole new path or way.
It was necessary to get out of this chrysalis, for this to happen it was the life inside that was going to take me out of this bondage that was so constraining. The life is in the butterfly, the chrysalis is only a shell that has to be shed for the freedom that is necessary to fly.
For so long I had been relying on the chrysalis and when I began to think about it, that was what was keeping me from spreading my wings.
Now came a whole new learning process, the life is in the butterfly. I now have to rely on the butterfly to get me out of this chrysalis, that is almost like reverse osmosis, that never happened overnight. It took time but gradually the butterfly life begin to release me from the chrysalis.
I am not out of the chrysalis, but it is braking down. I have no fear of what is taking place, it is part of the process. I have a good idea of what is taking place, but I am constantly reminded, I am the chrysalis, its the butterfly that does the work, so I have to be patient and am patient.
There are many things I understand, that I never did, some of it came from books, some from other people, but everything was the result of the butterfly, so my purpose can be manifested. I am a part of nature and it is amazing what we can learn from nature.
My greatest blessing has been, “You don’t learn life, you live it.” I wasted so much time trying to learn it.
I will follow up on this post with, “breaking out of the chrysalis”, but my next post because it is near Valentine’s Day is going to be on LOVE. In my journey one of my greatest blessings understanding what TRUE LOVE really is.
If you enjoy this post would you pass it on to someone that you might think would be interested.
I am going to leave you with a poem that was written by a lady in my writing class, she has graciously given me permission to post it in my blog. This lady knew very well what it was to live in the moment, because of very severe health issues.
THE BUTTERFLY WAY
If I could spend one precious day
The Universe as my teacher
I’d learn to live the Butterfly Way
I’d emulate that creature
I’d treat each moment on this earth
As a present to be treasured
Developing my own sense of worth
By which I may be measured
I’d learn to trust in nature’s law
And gladly I’d surrender
To the notion of a life before
Yet one I can’t remember
In my world of peace and beauty
I’d strive for full potential
Seeking purpose as my duty
A quest that is essential
On my butterfly wings so bright
I’d push life to the limit
Unafraid of death or night
And growing strong in spirit
Risking all with courage and love
I’d soar beyond reason’s range
Flying free in a space above
Awaiting the imminent change
And if my time on earth were brief
Lasting just one splendid day
There’d be no time or need for grief
When I lived the butterfly way
May this be an inspiration to you as it has been to me.
I will see you in my next post on “TRUE LOVE” and if you want to share it with a friend its www.theyouprocess.com
I welcome all comments and or questions, just leave them below and I will reply.
Until next time