The purpose of “The You Process” blog, is to help anyone interested in knowing themselves better by my relating some of my experiences. They are not meant to be a guide but rather to encourage and challenge you.
What I am about to do in this post is explain my revelation. The Secret revealed, is and was for me, but similar or not so similar occurrences in your life could have similar revelations for you.
This post is a continuation of my journey, this is the third post on that personal journey. The length may seem long, but it is important to remember the time frame is well, in excess of sixty years.
When the account of my journey is completed, perhaps two or three more posts, I will go into more detail of things that were understood by me, which hopefully will encourage you to take a similar journey.
My attitude and approach to everything about myself, the world around me and people, have changed in a very dramatic way, in a very positive manner.
Before continuing my journey, I want to comment on “revelation.”
The oxford dictionary definition, the one I like best is “the Divine or supernatural disclosure to humans of something relating to human existence.”
In this instance any disclosure to human existence is personal, when the Devine discloses something it is for the distinct purpose of strengthening the faith of that person and encourage them to continue on their journey.
The other part of that dictionary definition to consider is “supernatural.”
We again go back to the Oxford dictionary “an event or manifestation attributed to some force beyond scientific understanding or the laws of nature.”
When we move outside our understanding there is a reluctance or fear of the unknown. It is necessary to put that aside and welcome the unknown, it opens a whole new world.
In breaking down the word supernatural, it’s not as fearful as we have been led to believe, “super” large or powerful, “natural,” the norm.
When you think of it that way in respect to yourself, “a more powerful person.”
Any problem with that?
The Journey Continues.
In my previous post I mentioned meeting Sandra on February 17.
Earlier that week I was speaking with my daughter Kim, she was just getting over cancer and a divorce, I invited her to dinner for Valentine’s Day, she accepted.
At dinner, she asked me, if I was considering another lady friend.
I said no, I don’t think so, I’m happy the way things are.
I did not think I would find another lady like my late wife.
Kim felt it would be good for me to have a lady friend, I politely disagreed with her.
That was Tuesday, on Friday I met Sandra. I had guests coming the following day at the B&B, so I decided to go home instead of staying over for the night. On my way home, I thought about Sandra, I enjoyed dancing with her that evening.
Friends of mine arrived the next day. During our conversations that weekend I mentioned Sandra, they were saying you should call her. I didn’t have her number but they pressed me to get it. I called Sandra’s friend, she gave me Sandra’s work and home number. (with Sandra’s approval)
When speaking with Sandra’s friend, I also asked her to ask Sandra, if she would like to go for lunch with me on Tuesday.
She said, yes.
When Tuesday came I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, I guess I got cold feet. I called Sandra and apologized. She was very gracious about it, we talked for sometime, the conversation went very well, so much so I called her at home that night and each night that week. On Saturday I invited her to a dance, she accepted.
It was late when we returned from the dance and I had a two-hour drive to get back home. She invited me to stay, she had a spare room, so I accepted.
The next morning both of us are in the kitchen, she is preparing breakfast for me. I am preparing a lunch for her, she is going cross-country skiing, I’m going home.
When I am leaving, she walked me to the door.
I held her in my arms and said “I love you.”
This was as much a surprise to me as it was to Sandra.
I said to her, I want you to process this, I won’t call you this week, you can call me if you wish. She called every day.
I mentioned in an earlier post, that sometimes we have something in our heart that is not in our head, this was another example of that. I had not thought of what I said to Sandra, it just came out. Was it a mistake, I doubt it.
It was two months later that I proposed to Sandra, she was positive towards my proposal, but wanted to give it more time. I explained to Sandra my Journey of Enlightenment and about “The Secret.”
She did not want to hear about it, this frustrated me and caused me to reconsider if I wanted to go ahead with marriage.
I knew she was my soulmate from the first couple of weeks that I met her. I experienced a euphoria similar to what I had experienced with Norma.
This caused me to do much soul-searching. My question to my inner-self centered around what I had experienced with two different ladies. Why was the experience so similar, when those two people were different in many ways.
Finally, understanding, it was not about either of the ladies, but about myself, the connection was with me.
I knew what the secret was and was afraid I would lose it, this was the sweet spot in my life and I did not want to let it go. This was now the third time that I had experienced this type of revelation, each time I had lost the connection, or so I thought.
Each time I had attributed my connections first to Norma and then to the church. This experience was to be different.
Help from my inner self, made me realize I had to grow up, not from without but from within.
Sandra had given me several books that she had read. One was “Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield, as I read this book, I was excited because most everything James Redfield spoke about I had already experienced. There were areas where I realized I needed to grow more. Then there was the book by Dr. Norman Doidge and “The Brain that changes itself.” In his chapter on love the neurotransmitter and neuromodulator explanations was a tool in helping me understand my experiences with Norma and Sandra.
The books that Sandra was reading was a further confirmation that she was in some way tuned to where I was coming from or wanted to be. She had no problem with my direction, matter of fact she encouraged me to continue my journey, she didn’t want me to talk about to her.
Sandra also had a book entitled “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne it was like her bible. I understood perfectly well what the book was saying, it was in a way part of my everyday living.
What I could not understand was how she could get so much out of that book and not understand what I was saying, it was so similar.
Sandra was very obstinate and unwilling to listen to what I was saying, this frustrated me to no end.
What am I going to do?
A year and a half later Sandra said she was ready to get married, I wasn’t sure I was. I communed with my Inner-self looking for an answer and was satisfied that it was OK to go ahead with the marriage.
I said to her, “I can’t give you my heart and I don’t want yours.”
I have since learned in a very real way through my various experiences and with some reasoning, that the secret is that, a secret, it has nothing to do with anyone except myself, not even my wives.
It was and is an experience that I enjoy daily, it has more to do with my heart then my head.
My relationship with Sandra has grown almost as my relationship with myself has grown.
In realizing the secret within me, that secret is within everyone and has encouraged me to write this blog, but as I have said, it is a personal revelation.
While Norma believed strongly in the secret but would not listen to me, so it was with Sandra, she as well would not listen to me.
I now consider myself blessed in having had two very strong women in my life, that forced me to deal with myself by myself.
Day by day my relationship with myself is growing, and as I said, with Sandra as well.
She said to me, “both Norma and I would not buy your bulls–t, you had to deal with it yourself” That was and is so true.
Sandra and I celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary this year, the relationship has been growing. My relationship with myself continues to grow. The secret is not what I thought it was, it is so much more.
I no longer have to deal with expectations for myself, I have found a comfort that in many ways I did not think was possible, there is still more to my journey, I look forward to each day with an anticipation.
Again, I have to reiterate, those have been my experiences and the revelation that came from them, were for me.
My thought and prayer is that you may be encouraged to assess your life and your life experiences to learn more about yourself. I thought I knew myself, boy was I wrong.
In my next post I will expand on the experiences, reasonings and time frame that was involved, for me to come to this point in my life. I will also give you more of an overview of things you can expect if you decide to take “A Journey of Enlightenment” to find “The Secret” within yourself.
It is a process and the process is about YOU.
I appreciate any and all comments on this post and if you enjoyed or related to or was challenged in any way, I would encourage you to read some of my previous posts.
If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them for you.
Have a great day.